Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
