it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
