Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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