If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
