I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
