The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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