What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
