How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
