I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize