I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
