No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
