and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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