yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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