There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
