how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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