I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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