Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
