I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
