I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
