I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
