He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
