I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
