'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
