Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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