i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think people are normalizing furries
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
