Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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