Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
