he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
