walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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