seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
