It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
