i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
