i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize