This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
