the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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