FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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