You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
tell me about the eggs
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
