i just google imaged poop.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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