Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
