Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
