I bet he comes in French.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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