I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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