Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
