I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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