Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
