I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
