i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
