I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
