He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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