he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
