at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
