sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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