so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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