your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
