I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
