im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
