with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
