dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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