Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Soap is not a condiment
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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