Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
