waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
