You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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