WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
